Dear Joy,
I am feeling a bit conflicted. I have cheered you on as I've seen you pull yourself up to standing the past few days. You can do it in your Pack 'n Play, and you can do it on the couch. Sometimes you use a blanket to help pull yourself up, and sometimes you use my pant legs. But I can tell this isn't enough to satisfy you for very long. You want to be able to get wherever you want to go whenever you want to get there. You want to be UP on the couch and not just looking at the tops of the cushions. You want to be OUT of the Pack 'n Play and not just looking up over the sides of it.
That time will come soon enough. Too soon, probably, if you ask me.
But what is very hard for me is allowing you to fall down. Sometimes I catch some teetering before you fall. I know you won't seriously hurt yourself, and I know you need to learn. But I also know you get so frustrated and rattled that you cry almost every single time. And yet, I let you continue to do it. Please forgive me for this. It really is for your own good.
I know as you grow, I will not always be there for you to try to stop you from falling, literally or figuratively. I also won't always be there to help pick you back up after you fall. I know that sometimes it's best for you to learn rather than having me protect you. I do want to protect you all the time, but I won't because I want you to be able to make choices that are good for you on your own instead of feeling like I'm controlling you or trying to keep you in a bubble.
I will, however, always care for you. I will always want you to continue to grow and develop. And when you fall down, like you do now, I want you to keep getting back up. If you reach for my hand to help you back up, know that it will be there.
Love,
Mom
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