Not just love

Dear Joy,

Ever since I can remember, I have been repeating over and over again the simple three-word phrase, "I love you." Part of me has hoped that in all your babbling and learning new words and phrases that you'd repeat it back to me. But lately I have been thinking about what exactly it means to love you. If I had to explain it to you the way I point to a cat and say "kitty" or "cat" or some other illustration so you can better understand its meaning, I want to be clear that you are aware of what I mean.

When I say I love you, I mean that I have positive affection toward you. It means also that you bring me joy and I am so thankful that God has blessed me with you in my life. But it is still so much more than all that. "I love you" means I want your happiness and safety and security in life. I want those righteous desires in your heart to be fulfilled. I think of you and act with you in mind. I cherish the memories I have, some of which I know will fade over time, of your firsts and demonstrations of your personality. I delight in you. I care for you. I pray for you. I serve you. I cater to you. You brighten my life and give me a purpose and meaning I didn't have before I met you. Each day on this earth with you is a wonderful gift from above. Nothing you say or do could take my love away from you. Nothing. Even when you make mistakes, big or small, I will still love you. I will still be your mother. I will never turn my back on you. I will never regret time spent with you. I will continue to smile fondly as I think of you and how great it is to get to know you.

So when I say, "I love you," know that it's not just some word. It's not just some sentiment of positive regard from me toward you. It is how I feel about you that shapes how I think about you and pray for you and hope and dream with and for you. It is about who you are just as you are, even though I know I don't really know you yet. It is not contingent upon you acting, looking, feeling, or thinking a certain way; achieving a certain goal or being anyone other than the person you are and will be at each and every step of the way, through good times and bad, through laughter and tears, through thick and thin. YOU. I love you.

Always and forever,
Mom